Nice story David. You are a genuinely decent man. I suffered with dysthymia for the majority of my life. The only way I dealt with it was boxing. I started when I was twelve and competed until I was fifty. I trained with Krav Maga instructors as well. Two things happened. The physical discomfort of injuries and intense training masked the psychic pain of depression. In the various gyms where I trained, I found a community of similarly afflicted men. We bonded. We talked and many of us became life long friends. Classical music was and still is a great help.
"She was very outgoing. She asked me questions about myself, what I did for a living, how I came to be an economist, how old I was. I enjoyed it. I often tell people that a good strategy when meeting new people is to ask them about themselves because, for most people, it gives them a chance to talk about their favorite subject. I’m no exception."
Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Trust me this single point better than the ANYTHING inside of 'Art of the Deal' by DT
Fair but also cultural. IME that strategy actually drives away Far East Asians and many former Soviets or other people that grew up under totalitarian regimes, i.e. the response you often get is paranoid hostility along the lines "why are you spying on me, what's it your business or angle". They may open up but often you have to give them your entire life history first and even then, it's a maybe. At least as far as elevator conversations go. 95% the time I'm going to say I get the outright hostility of "What's it to you bruh?" or the one word conversation ending dismissals, male, female, young, old alike.
Still I agree it's worth the effort but people are way less friendly universally or open to talking about themselves, even petty stuff like "that food smells good, watcha get?" -> "Food" than you project, especially outside the West.
Sell me this pen, Peter, SELL ME THIS PEN! Well its about feeling where the small talk brings you. At the very minimum I can ask something along the lines of "Tell me about your business/your role here at Company X" without digging into things you might deem to be too personal. If I see a picture of your kids on your desk I might ask, "Oh, you have a beautiful family" and then he might say, "Thanks, that's Little Jimmy and he's not so little anymore, he's applying for colleges now" And then the next time you see him, you make the note, you ask, "Just curious how did Little Jimmy's applications go?" He broached the topic, you're not going to discuss his dysfunctional relationship with his wife or whatnot, right?
“I found that 4 things helped with my depression: (1) exercise, (2) listening to music especially classical music and upbeat modern music, (3) interacting with people, and (4) eating moderate amounts of dark chocolate.”
I love his list but now I’m depressed. I only completed three of the four—and I forgot to buy dark chocolate covered walnuts at Kroger’s today—ughhhh!
PS—Please don’t worry. I will just drink some red wine—a nice Cote du Rhone.
Thanks for your recommendation. As a younger man I loved Zin and big Cabs like Silver Oak. But now I stick to gentler (but flavorful) wines like a Rhône or a Burgundy.
Mine is my personal sommelier. We actually met in Paris and learned about wines together. Thank yours for the recommendation. We will be sure to look for it. Central Ohio is not the California wine country (near where we once lived) but it has some hidden gems for wine enthusiasts.
What a great story! I'm so glad you had your book and the other one on hand! I listened to that professor talk online about interactions after missing his talk at the University Club of Chicago. What's great about the truly dreadful Chicago weather is that it almost forces interactions. (My California nephew said, when visiting in May one year: "I can't imagine it any colder than this." There was heavy, icy rain and brutal wind but of course it was balmy compared to our winters, and very unpredictable. Some days in May can be super warm too!) In Chicago and in Evanston, the first northern suburb where I live, we always talk to each other on elevators, and I've been at restaurants where adjoining tables chatted. Once these two very young Irish MDs, sisters, became instant friends and I and my late husband toured a nearby skyscraper with them after our meal. Another couple invited us, very earnestly, to stay at their resort, seemingly as free guests. It's so adventurous, and as you say, mood uplifting, to talk to people.
It's better to be interested than interesting. David, great piece!
Thanks, Mike.
You are aware she was green card shopping right? Not saying anything wrong with that but you missed an opportunity lol.
I'm not aware of that. And I'm guessing she wasn't. I had the sense from the way her father talked that they were relatively affluent.
By the way, I'm married, so it wouldn't have worked.
Nice story David. You are a genuinely decent man. I suffered with dysthymia for the majority of my life. The only way I dealt with it was boxing. I started when I was twelve and competed until I was fifty. I trained with Krav Maga instructors as well. Two things happened. The physical discomfort of injuries and intense training masked the psychic pain of depression. In the various gyms where I trained, I found a community of similarly afflicted men. We bonded. We talked and many of us became life long friends. Classical music was and still is a great help.
Thanks, David.
Nice story, although with "dysthymia," you sent me to the dictionary. :-)
"She was very outgoing. She asked me questions about myself, what I did for a living, how I came to be an economist, how old I was. I enjoyed it. I often tell people that a good strategy when meeting new people is to ask them about themselves because, for most people, it gives them a chance to talk about their favorite subject. I’m no exception."
Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Trust me this single point better than the ANYTHING inside of 'Art of the Deal' by DT
Fair but also cultural. IME that strategy actually drives away Far East Asians and many former Soviets or other people that grew up under totalitarian regimes, i.e. the response you often get is paranoid hostility along the lines "why are you spying on me, what's it your business or angle". They may open up but often you have to give them your entire life history first and even then, it's a maybe. At least as far as elevator conversations go. 95% the time I'm going to say I get the outright hostility of "What's it to you bruh?" or the one word conversation ending dismissals, male, female, young, old alike.
Still I agree it's worth the effort but people are way less friendly universally or open to talking about themselves, even petty stuff like "that food smells good, watcha get?" -> "Food" than you project, especially outside the West.
Sell me this pen, Peter, SELL ME THIS PEN! Well its about feeling where the small talk brings you. At the very minimum I can ask something along the lines of "Tell me about your business/your role here at Company X" without digging into things you might deem to be too personal. If I see a picture of your kids on your desk I might ask, "Oh, you have a beautiful family" and then he might say, "Thanks, that's Little Jimmy and he's not so little anymore, he's applying for colleges now" And then the next time you see him, you make the note, you ask, "Just curious how did Little Jimmy's applications go?" He broached the topic, you're not going to discuss his dysfunctional relationship with his wife or whatnot, right?
Good point.
“I found that 4 things helped with my depression: (1) exercise, (2) listening to music especially classical music and upbeat modern music, (3) interacting with people, and (4) eating moderate amounts of dark chocolate.”
I love his list but now I’m depressed. I only completed three of the four—and I forgot to buy dark chocolate covered walnuts at Kroger’s today—ughhhh!
PS—Please don’t worry. I will just drink some red wine—a nice Cote du Rhone.
Daniel, have you tried the Rombauer Zin??? Lovely!!
Thanks for your recommendation. As a younger man I loved Zin and big Cabs like Silver Oak. But now I stick to gentler (but flavorful) wines like a Rhône or a Burgundy.
My wife is a cab aficionado. Highly recommends Romy cab. A bit more expensive than the zin.
Mine is my personal sommelier. We actually met in Paris and learned about wines together. Thank yours for the recommendation. We will be sure to look for it. Central Ohio is not the California wine country (near where we once lived) but it has some hidden gems for wine enthusiasts.
Age 19 is probably about when I discovered economics. On fire for it the whole 62 years since.
I started my study some ten years ago at the age of seventy. Me too. Still learning from David and other economists.
BY leasing, not my leasing.
Thanks. Correction made.
One of my most memorable interactions! Thank you for the great conversation sir David.
You're welcome, Matisse. I enjoyed it a lot too.
What a great story! I'm so glad you had your book and the other one on hand! I listened to that professor talk online about interactions after missing his talk at the University Club of Chicago. What's great about the truly dreadful Chicago weather is that it almost forces interactions. (My California nephew said, when visiting in May one year: "I can't imagine it any colder than this." There was heavy, icy rain and brutal wind but of course it was balmy compared to our winters, and very unpredictable. Some days in May can be super warm too!) In Chicago and in Evanston, the first northern suburb where I live, we always talk to each other on elevators, and I've been at restaurants where adjoining tables chatted. Once these two very young Irish MDs, sisters, became instant friends and I and my late husband toured a nearby skyscraper with them after our meal. Another couple invited us, very earnestly, to stay at their resort, seemingly as free guests. It's so adventurous, and as you say, mood uplifting, to talk to people.
Nice.
Very nice interaction!
Thanks, Junio.